The Mandama Workout

If anyone out there has ever searched for the ultimate exercise plan I think I have found the answer to your weight loss needs. You start by moving to Cameroon and not just anywhere in Cameroon. You need to pick a remote place, preferably on a mountainside or in the hills with lots of sand. This move will undoubtedly include much heavy lifting of baggage and moving it to various locations (think of olden day prison punishment when they used to have prisoners move rocks from one useless pile to another and then back again). Second, leave all conventional cleaning tools behind and do as the Africans do. Sweep your floors with a traditional broom made out of thin sticks, which requires you to sweep while bending over at a 90 degree angle. Pump your water at the local forage making sure to isolate those chest and arm muscles as you vigorously fill two containers (you are sure to repeat this exercise at least 3 to 4 times a week). For an added benefit you can then carry said containers on your head back to your house, although this is not for the weak necked and clumsy! Lastly, decide to do a community wide health survey, which promises to include every single household in your village. This last exercise is great cardio, especially if you choose a walking partner whose stride is much longer and faster than your own. You will walk over rocky mountainsides, cross dry, sandy riverbeds, do squats while trying to meet your butt to a stool that is a few inches off the ground, but most importantly you will lose those inches you’ve been dying to get rid of since you started to eat like a Camerooian and digested kilos of couscous and rice with sauce. I tell you people that I have tried this diet and so far it is agreeing with me.
So its been a month since I started walking house to house in my village doing a community survey. I have visited a total of 230 houses and that is about 90% of all the houses in Mandama and I plan on doing this again in the 12 other villages my health center serves. It was a very interesting experience, which opened my eyes to some health issues, but also allowed me to meet everyone face to face. Some of the “quartiers” or neighborhoods that I visited were a few minutes walk away, while others took me into places I didn’t think anybody would think to live. For example one quartier is over a hill and nestled in a valley near a river. In order to use the health center or buy things at the market the people have to walk fairly far on a road where a car can not pass and I have found that they often don’t use the health center for things such as giving birth or minor illness. It was at this very village that I hiked up a severely steep hill to visit one house of that particular quartier. I couldn’t imagine having to make that hike everyday, several times a day and with a bucket of water on my head. I am truly in awe of Camerooians sometimes.
On the 11th of February there was a big “fete”or holiday all over Cameroon called the “Fete de Juenesse,” which I guess is like international kids day. I had no idea what to expect from this day, but I heard it was a huge deal and I could hear the children at the elementary school practicing their march and songs for two weeks before hand while I was on my march doing the community surveys. Singing just has a different quality to it here. Kids in the states have their “Ring around the Rosy” and “Miss Mary Mack”, but they don’t hold a candle to the sound of the Camerooian children chanting in unison. It’s the same sound I hear during church service here. It’s a definite addition to the catholic services, where although I love my religion, the singing has always lacked a sense of liveliness. Squeezed into the benches amidst rows of colorful pagne dresses and babies strapped to backs it’s very enlivening and spiritual and always adds to any Cameroonian event.
On the day of the fete I struck out at 9am, already an hour late, but knowing that it would never start on time and ended standing for another 45 minutes while seating assignments were arranged. See, in village I am a “Grand”, someone important, and the important people always sit under shaded areas to watch such festivities and that morning I was second row to the parade of marching children. Schools came from neighboring villages to show off their marching abilities and chants with accompanied dances. It was truly interesting and not unlike small hometown parades, although minus floats and extravagant costumes. Later in the day a match of Football was held for the high school girls first, which drew a substantial crowd, but the real game was between the high school boys and the teachers. Although the teachers are young and fit themselves, they were no match for the Mandama boys who swept them 6 to 2. In most instances all this would have been enough for one day, but it wouldn’t be a Fete de Juenesse without a dance. If you have recently graduated from college and can reminisce on your old high school dances, you can probably gather a pretty accurate picture of what they are like. Although I didn’t attend this dance, I have attended a previous dance and don’t particularly wish to experience another. And if you can’t imagine, picture a tiny classroom packed with sweaty teenage boys and girls dancing non-stop until 6am to really loud music and you get the picture, although those are not the reasons why I do not wish to partake a second time. My reason centers around the villages need to make me front and center of all their attention, especially when it includes watching me dance to Cameroonian music. Although not bragging, I have picked up a few moves and can hold my own and have gotten compliments like “You dance like a Cameroonian,” I do not like being the center of attention in the middle of a high school dance full of adolescent boys.
I am now awaiting the next fete, “8 Mars” or International Women’s Day and have already bought my women’s day pagne, which I hope I can get cut into a dress before the day, but I am cutting it close. The day promises to be a lot like Fete de Juenesse and it brings another reason to eat lots of yummy gateau (cake) and a break from my village visits.